She is my favorite author on matters involving single people and she also happens to be an expert. I love reading her Psychology Today posts:
I find the mere question, “So why have you never been married?,” offensive and inappropriate, regardless of whether it is aimed at single women or single men or both, and I have mocked it in previous posts. In this one, I began by noting:
Questions like that push my perversity button, and I can’t help generating Q & A sequences. For example:
Clueless Question: “So why have you never been married?”
My Perverse Answer: So why have you never been an accountant?
Clueless Question: “Why aren’t you married?”
My Perverse Answer: Why aren’t you a Christmas tree?
Clueless Question: “When are you going to get married?”
My Perverse Answer: When did you last have sex?
Clueless Question: “Will you ever marry?”
My Perverse Answer: Maybe if I get hit on the head with a rock and turn into a different person.
If you want my serious answer to the question of why I, personally, am single, it is simple: I am single at heart. Single is who I really am. Single life is the most authentic and meaningful life for me. (If you are interested, you can take the quiz, “Are you single at heart?”.)
I’m afraid to take that quiz. Let me know if you’re brave enough.