Dating when your fun button is broken

(Just a quick logistical note: The URL will expire in July, but you can always find me (on a not-so-frequent basis) at

I suppose that sounds sexually suggestive but…I’m not talking about that.

My friends are my soul mates.

I believe soul mates are mirrors for us. They show us sides of ourselves that we can’t see because we’re too close to ourselves.

My dear friend wants to have a good time and be casual. While dating. Whatever that means for her.

But, like me, she’s really cerebral. Bless her heart, her standards are astronomically high and they should be.

She’s a catch. Brilliant, beautiful, funny with good teeth. I mean — what’s not to like? She’s also a fellow serial monogamist.

So, she wants to have fun while dating, but part of her is like, Fun? Ain’t nobody got time for that.

And another part of her is like, “Excuse me, fun partner, do you have good credit and dynamic interests?”

But, you know, we can’t tighten our grasp and let go of stuff at the same time for a reason.

You can’t date with a purpose and then be like, “Nah, I didn’t ask you to marry me and spend the rest of your life with me! I said would you carry me and spend the rest of the night with me.”

“Your fun button is broken,” I said without hesitating.

So I told my homegirl that and she repeated it back to me. “Yeah. Maybe my fun button is broken.”

Mine is broken, too, but I’m working on fixing it. Because summer is coming. And I have to do something besides write all the time.

I’m ready to be with my feelings. Feelings is probably my least favorite f-word, by the way. Work is way less complicated. Logical! Organized! A place for everything! A strategic plan!

Emotions = fuzzy, messy, unpredictable. Ugh. It’s too HOT.

Still, I don’t want to go back to being a workaholic. Most of my co-workers are married, if not to each other, to partners they met long ago (typically not at work). So, I’ve planned my first vacation for this summer that will not involve writing, just hanging out. I’m looking for beach reads. I’m going to a lot more parties. My friends are certain that courtship is in my future, though I’m not so sure. But a lot of the parties I’ve been to have been couple-heavy, so it’s hard to know for sure.

What are your summer plans? Are y’all out there dating and mixing it up for some summer love, or what?

5 thoughts on “Dating when your fun button is broken

  1. I have just gotten out of a dating relationship (I am a serial monogamist too) that lasted for all of 3 months. While I do have a lot to offer I also hate the feeling when a lot is asked for without giving much in return. Know what I mean? This particular man that I was seeing was VERY specific about being non-committal and that was fine with me, but somehow he would keep picking arguments about times when I was non-available – as in didn’t pick up calls or reply to sms immediately. He would go for days without responding but when it came to me, promptness was what he expected. What is up with that???? My fun button is definitely broken after dating a couple of men like this. I think I am going to become a serial alone person this summer instead ….. Me, myself and I :)

    • I know exactly what you mean — especially the part about being really specific about ways that some men can be really non-committal. I also love the idea of becoming a serial alone person, though I long for the longer stretches of solitude I used to have when I worked only for myself sometimes. Enjoy dating yourself – I hope to do the same, though I hope that I’ll have a chance to practice dating someone else, too :-) [I always say that but then when things pop up, I’m like…”What did I just ask for *that* for?” :-)

      • hahahaha…… I ike being a serial ‘dater’. I think it keeps things interesting :) enjoy the dating scene this summer ;)

  2. Why limit yourself to simply courtship? We, the people who know you, see a lot of awesomeness in your future first courtship, then mad making out, then….. What ever it is it’ll be great. I had chocolate that was causing my fun button to stick….just push it harder and let the good times role.


    • You crack me up. Thank you for the tip(s)! No limit, really, but seems like courtship and friendships are good places to start. I do need to expand my sense of the possible. Thanks for the encouragement, as always.

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