I’ve been thinking a lot about the Fear of Missing Out, also known as FOMO, and how its connected to being an unmarried person.
For people whose entire identity is shaped around being in a relationship, people who are satisfied with whatever their marital status is, (particularly if they are single) represent the ultimate missed opportunity for self-actualization.
Have you ever heard from a friend, “It must be nice to just do whatever you want and sleep in. I miss those days.”
Or, “Wow, you’re always on the go. Do it now before you settle down”?
As a solo person in life, people have an easier time projecting their fears, beliefs and regrets onto your experience. I learned this as I was grieving my mother, and I continue to learn it in the dating process. Meditation helps me to clarify, with my intuition, what emotions/thoughts/actions belong to me and which are motivated by the impressions/thoughts and beliefs of others.
The reason I love the sign above is that it is a perfect reminder to disregard other people’s perceptions about you in order to be great. One of the most fulfilling and amazing aspects of the single life is that it gives you space to dream, explore and build the life you want. You can become the person you admire most, the one that you’re hopelessly in love with and perhaps, along the way, attract someone who appreciates you as you are.
The goal of being single & happy, though, is not to peek through your fingers and pretend you’re not looking for a relationship. It is not about disparaging people in relationships. It’s about accepting your life as it is, striving for what you really want, and appreciating that you don’t have to ask a single other living soul for permission to live a great life.
I know freedom is scary. But it’s also incredibly beautiful.