Comments for Single & Happy http://partyofones.com The Party of Ones Sun, 29 Jul 2012 22:18:48 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.com/ Comment on Remembering my first love by Joshunda http://partyofones.com/2012/07/26/remembering-my-first-love/#comment-405 Sun, 29 Jul 2012 22:18:48 +0000 http://partyofones.com/?p=889#comment-405 I always liked that as a nickname. How sweet. ]]> Comment on Remembering my first love by ladybuddha http://partyofones.com/2012/07/26/remembering-my-first-love/#comment-404 Sun, 29 Jul 2012 21:02:44 +0000 http://partyofones.com/?p=889#comment-404 I did not have a pet name of my own, although my BF called me the one I gave him: Pookie. ]]> Comment on Wait, so you want me to love on you AND clean all the things? by Successful Careers for Women: Do We Sabotage Ourselves? « Women Well Loved http://partyofones.com/2012/07/06/wait-so-you-want-me-to-love-on-you-and-clean-all-the-things/#comment-392 Thu, 19 Jul 2012 17:35:38 +0000 http://thesingleladies.wordpress.com/?p=771#comment-392 [...] have been many articles over the years and of late dealing with the issue of women wanting to “have it all” – a career and a family [...] ]]> Comment on Single Lady Books: Why You’re Not Married Yet by Tracy McMillan by Joshunda http://partyofones.com/2012/07/19/single-lady-books-why-youre-not-married-by-tracy-mcmillan/#comment-389 Thu, 19 Jul 2012 15:51:11 +0000 http://thesingleladies.wordpress.com/?p=809#comment-389 Those are good questions. I like it more than I expected, but I expected to hate it. And I’m weary and wary of dating advice books, so I’m trying to separate that weariness/wariness from the actual content of the book, which is sort of entertaining and has some good stuff in it for women who want to get married. I think the confusion, for me, stems from the idea that it’s geared toward women who want to be married but can’t figure out why they’re not. And my perspective is a little more open. I like the idea of lifelong companionship, but marriage as an institution has become such a fetish in our culture that I’m pretty skeptical of it. So anything posited as a way to get me down the aisle automatically gives me pause, since I don’t know if that’s where I’m trying to walk.

I do think her advice can be applicable to people who are having trouble with intimacy in general. I think my reaction to the yuckier elements are that they are a little like Steve Harvey’s approach – it worked for him, and it works for her at parts – the whole, I’ve been there, I’ve been married and divorced, so I can help you learn how not to make the same mistakes. Actually, she blends Steve Harvey’s approach and Lori Gottlieb’s approach from “Marry Him: The Case for Settling.” And there’s the tinge of misogyny underneath it all. The…”You’re crazy, You don’t have hobbies, No wonder you’re single!” piece that makes it difficult to straight up like the good advice about learning to love yourself by not dating people you actually hate.

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Comment on Single Lady Books: Why You’re Not Married Yet by Tracy McMillan by ladybuddha http://partyofones.com/2012/07/19/single-lady-books-why-youre-not-married-by-tracy-mcmillan/#comment-388 Thu, 19 Jul 2012 14:53:21 +0000 http://thesingleladies.wordpress.com/?p=809#comment-388 so is it that you’re liking it more than expected, but still not really? or it isn’t exactly as advertised, and that’s a nice surprise, but parts of it are still yucky? ]]> Comment on Pseudorelationships, Availability and Accessibility by Joshunda http://partyofones.com/2012/07/18/pseudorelationships-availability-and-accessibility/#comment-387 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 13:26:01 +0000 http://thesingleladies.wordpress.com/?p=850#comment-387 Yes, that’s exactly what I was referring to, although I didn’t even really think about the “normal, healthy” relation aspect until you mentioned it. It’s interesting to think about the physical self and the virtual/emotional self as different. I think maybe that’s another drawback of technology, actually, that it divides the self – there is the online persona or representative and then there’s the real life person. Sometimes they’re very similar but (more often?) sometimes they are not. ]]> Comment on Pseudorelationships, Availability and Accessibility by michads http://partyofones.com/2012/07/18/pseudorelationships-availability-and-accessibility/#comment-386 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 13:19:34 +0000 http://thesingleladies.wordpress.com/?p=850#comment-386 Yes and no — not sure if we are on the exact same wavelength, but here is what I thought while reading your post. Chatting via txt messaging, FB chat, and emails seems to be having a larger and larger impact on “normal, healthy relationships”. I think the ability to “remove” your physical self from a conversation has enabled people to say things to others that they normally wouldn’t say in person. In some cases harming healthy relationships by engaging in a “relationship” with another via electronic means and withdrawing oneself. And in others parties misconstruing electronic communique as a “relationship”.

hmmm… in my head it makes sense, I hope I was able to convey my thoughts well enough.

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Comment on Pseudorelationships, Availability and Accessibility by Joshunda http://partyofones.com/2012/07/18/pseudorelationships-availability-and-accessibility/#comment-385 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 12:46:22 +0000 http://thesingleladies.wordpress.com/?p=850#comment-385 What made you think about it? Personal experience? ]]> Comment on Pseudorelationships, Availability and Accessibility by michads http://partyofones.com/2012/07/18/pseudorelationships-availability-and-accessibility/#comment-384 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 10:47:41 +0000 http://thesingleladies.wordpress.com/?p=850#comment-384 I was beginning to think this myself…. ]]> Comment on Dealing with rejection by ladybuddha http://partyofones.com/2012/07/17/dealing-with-rejection/#comment-383 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 10:52:14 +0000 http://thesingleladies.wordpress.com/?p=842#comment-383 So my friends and I have been practicing geisha techniques. The difference has been AMAZING. We’ll have to chat more about it offline or something, but I’ll send you a link or two. ]]>