Single Lady Quotes: bell hooks

From Goodreads

I will not have my life narrowed down. I will not bow down to somebody else’s whim or to someone else’s ignorance.

As a young writer, I aspired to be a poet like Ntozake Shange, who distilled so much of the black girl’s experience in her poetry and a warrior like Alice Walker. Intellectually, I yearned for the freedom, clarity and possession that marked bell hooks’ work.
bell hooks was the first black woman intellectual I admired. I read Breaking Bread: Insurgent Black Intellectual Life – a conversation between bell hooks and Cornel West, when I was 13, and never stopped admiring her work. It also allowed me to envision myself as an intellectual in my own right. hooks has written over 30 books.

“To return to love, to get the love we always wanted but never had, to have the love we want but are not prepared to give, we seek romantic relationships. We believe these relationships, more than any other, will rescue and redeem us. True love does have the power to redeem but only if we are ready for redemption. Love saves us only if we want to be saved.”

“Love is a combination of care, commitment, knowledge, responsibility, respect and trust.”

“One of the major tasks black women face as we work for emotional healing is to understand more fully what love is so that we do not imagine that love and abuse can be simultaneously present in our lives. Most abuse is life-threatening, whether it wounds our bodies or our psyches. Understanding love as a life-force that urges us to move against death enables us to see clearly that, where love is, there can be no disenabling, disempowering, or life-destroying abuse.”

“It is the absence of love that has made it so difficult for us to stay alive or, if alive, to live fully. When we love ourselves, we want to live fully…When we love ourselves, we know that we much do more than survive. We must have the means to live fully.”

“Exclusion and isolation, whether they occur through overt or covert acts, have always been useful tactics of terrorism, a powerful way to coerce individuals to conform, to change. No insurgent intellectual, no dissenting critical voice in this society escapes the pressure to conform….We can all be had, co-opted, bought. There is no special grace that rescues any of us. There is only a constant struggle to keep the faith, to relentlessly rejoice in an engagement with critical ideas that is itself liberatory, a practice of freedom.”

Single Lady Quotes: Ann Friedman

Ann Friedman says what we are all thinking. As usual. (Source: The Hairpin)

If you haven’t heard of Ann Friedman, Happy Friday! As you can see from the lovely pie chart above, she’s witty and like me, she pretends not to know what OKCupid is when her married friends ask.

Also, she’s hilarious. Did I say that already? Here’s her fantastic blog, and a post on International Slutty Women’s Day: A Story in GIFs, which I adore. Continue reading

Top Posts in June: When they only date white girls, Gratitude & the look of too much independence

June rocked my world. I was working on a memoir in Berkeley at my first ever writing workshop & thankfully managed to escape the Texas heat for a couple of weeks, I took a much needed social media hiatus and I finally got a copy of Tracy McMillan’s book to read. Summer’s in full swing, and I’m plugging along, praying that my air conditioner will make it through a series of triple-digit days.

Here were some of the top posts from June:

When they only date white girls and other musings on interracial dating (I have been having a mental block trying to get through Swirling for a number of reasons I’ll mention when I finally finish it and review it here.)

Gratitude for my friends and followers: The 6-Month Anniversary post This could also be called: I feel really lucky that you care what I have to say/write/blog. So, thank you.

I am not auditioning to be your wife & a counter to Tracy McMillan Because people still think that women are engaged in work in the world for the entertainment of men. One word: Sexist.

He did his best: For other orphans on Father’s Day No June is really complete without a Father’s Day moment for me.

What does too much independence look like? I still don’t really know the answer.

Single Lady Quotes: Helen Keller She rocked. I don’t think she liked black people, but she was a woman of her era.

Single Lady Quotes: Helen Keller

I went back through some of my journals in the past week. I do this every year. It’s a wonderful gift to be able to look back and see my patterns, to see what I longed for a decade ago, and how close my life is to that now, or how far away.

I stumbled upon this quote from Helen Keller that is one of my favorites:

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Security does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than exposure.

That inspired me to look up some others:

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.
I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light.

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